Some may say I'm a crazy person for sitting here blogging tonight, and they may be right but, there is no sleep to be had, nothing else I can think of that I can do. For today was the day that you know is coming, but think won't happen to you. It's the day you get a phone call at 11:15 AM and they tell you to drive down to Mesa as fast as you can get here because your dad is having a massive heart attack. It's the day that at 1:00 they call you back while your driving through a small Arizona mining town, telling you it's too late. It's the day that your 58 old father who you idolize, worship and adore has passed on from this life. And what are you left with?
You are left with nothing more than your faith that God is in control of our lives. That he knows best and that his will and not yours will be done. It's the day you realize that there was some great adventure on the other side of the veil that no one could do but your Dad. It's the day you strengthen your resolve to live life more fully everyday. It's the day where you swear you will write all your precious memories of the hero who could never die.
It's the day you find you have courage deep in your soul to conquer the world ahead of you, the day you decide that no matter what you will make him proud, that you will carry on his dream. That you will treasure the moments you had more than you could ever imagine. The day you pray that all the lessons he taught you and the wonderful example he was will always be whispering to you in your mind while you make the hard choices.
Today was that day for me. And by some healing power that I believe comes from heaven as I sit here in his chair,on his computer, in his office, the very place he left us. I feel calm and reassured that he will always be with me and that he loved me more than I could have ever imagined.
One of the dreams my dad had for me was to be able to open my shop, my very own digital scrapbooking shop. Not even more than a few days ago, he looked at my blog with a huge smile on his face, told me how proud he was and he said "What can we do to make this happen for you?" And that statement right there says EVERYTHING I loved about my dad.