The day you think will never happen to you.

Some may say I'm a crazy person for sitting here blogging tonight, and they may be right but, there is no sleep to be had, nothing else I can think of that I can do. For today was the day that you know is coming, but think won't happen to you. It's the day you get a phone call at 11:15 AM and they tell you to drive down to Mesa as fast as you can get here because your dad is having a massive heart attack. It's the day that at 1:00 they call you back while your driving through a small Arizona mining town, telling you it's too late. It's the day that your 58 old father who you idolize, worship and adore has passed on from this life. And what are you left with?

You are left with nothing more than your faith that God is in control of our lives. That he knows best and that his will and not yours will be done. It's the day you realize that there was some great adventure on the other side of the veil that no one could do but your Dad. It's the day you strengthen your resolve to live life more fully everyday. It's the day where you swear you will write all your precious memories of the hero who could never die.

It's the day you find you have courage deep in your soul to conquer the world ahead of you, the day you decide that no matter what you will make him proud, that you will carry on his dream. That you will treasure the moments you had more than you could ever imagine. The day you pray that all the lessons he taught you and the wonderful example he was will always be whispering to you in your mind while you make the hard choices.

Today was that day for me. And by some healing power that I believe comes from heaven as I sit here in his chair,on his computer, in his office, the very place he left us. I feel calm and reassured that he will always be with me and that he loved me more than I could have ever imagined.

One of the dreams my dad had for me was to be able to open my shop, my very own digital scrapbooking shop. Not even more than a few days ago, he looked at my blog with a huge smile on his face, told me how proud he was and he said "What can we do to make this happen for you?" And that statement right there says EVERYTHING I loved about my dad.

Comments

[Stacy]

I got home from seeing you tonight feeling that there just weren't words for this day, but somehow you found them and they are beautiful! Thank you for providing such comforting words of faith and hope. You are an amazing blessing to your mom, your family, and your friends Tang! I know without a doubt your dad is smiling down on you this moment so very proud of the legacy you carry on for him. And his is quite a legacy - I have so much respect and admiration for the great man he is. I feel blessed I got to see him again just a few weeks ago. My heartfelt prayers are with you and your family tonight as I share your tears and join you in celebrating a beautiful life. I love you!

[littlejill]

I am so sorry for you. I was wondering if you would blog and I'm glad that you did. I think journaling was the pioneer's version of therapy--it really helps to heal to put things in writing. I never met your Dad but since I know you girls are so great--he had to be great. You put it into words so eloquently. When the phone rings from my parents house in the back of my mind I'm thinking that it migh be "the phone call". The one you unfortunately have already received. My heart goes out to your family. Squeezes to you all.

[amyf]

Oh, Tangie... you are such a trooper. These things are never easy, but you are handling it with grace.

My mother called me to tell me - I have been the recipient of his kindness before, and I know he will be much missed.

Let me know if you need help fulfilling your dream.

Lots of love,
~a

[Jordan]

Tangie,
My love goes to you, your sisters and your sweet mother. I couldn't stop thinking about you guys yesterday...I love you all! I was sad to hear my kind Uncle had passed from this world. I wish I could say something that would make it better. Your words were beautiful and I know that he will always be with you and your family. I can't say that I know how you're feeling but I want you to know that my prayers are with you and that as your family...I love you!!

[Joy Rae]

Hi Tangie: I am so saddened to hear of this news. He was such a great person and always had a smile on his face. You are such an amazing person and I look up to you for being able to be so strong through this. Your words are comforting. I am here for you and your family should you need anything. I love you guys! Love - Joy

[Liz]

Oh Tang- My heart is breaking for you. I am so shocked and sad to hear about your Dad. My deepest condolences to you and your wonderful family. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Loves, Liz

[Ashley]

Tangie,
The things you wrote brought tears to my eyes. I can't tell you how my heart just broke when I heard the news.
I know your dad must be one of the most wonderful men in all the world, because he has some really awesome daughters!
Loves to you and your family.
xoxoxo

[Liz]

what beautiful words to celebrate the memories he left behind. Here's wishing you comfort!

[Rainey]

Tangie, you are such a writer. It runs in the family, does it not? It made me cry. I am so sad for your loss and the tough times you are in. Its such a blessing that we all got together and expressed our love one last time. Your dad was the best, we will miss him so much. We're keeping you in our prayers. Love, Rainey

[camilla Wright]

That was a great post. I can't wait to help your dream of opening the shop come true. He will be so proud of you and counting on you to keep things going at remax. Good luck and thanks for passing along your strength!

[Ashley]

Tangie,
I just read this again and wanted to let you know how much I loved everything you said.
Your dad was amazing...I'm just sad that I am getting to "know" him now!